Okay, so I’ve been going to the speech therapist to see if there’s a way I can get back to giving talks while standing without my head spinning after a few minutes. Last time we worked on breathing, which helps but not enough.
Today, I learned that I still use volume for verbal emphasis. Which is stupid because my voice just breaks up and it’s as if my breath is leaking out of my head, and my voice doesn’t get a whole lot louder. If I switch to pitch, I do a lot better. But it sounds a lot easier than it actually is. You don’t just will yourself into another style. I’m not really a sing-songy talker. Also? I try and avoid that Canadian guy uptalking thing?
Not being able to “turn it up” is also a problem at work and in my social ife. People get conversational space by speaking up — whether we’re talking about dinner parties or meetings. I used to be right at home in that milieu but now I can’t do that, even though my voice “sounds” normal. So when a person facilitating a discussion in a formal setting like a meeting says “let’s just be cool and talk” it’s actually a real problem for me. So I have taken to raising my hand even when nobody else does. It sort of works. As for dinner parties, there have been a few nights where I just wear out and listen instead of talking.
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Other news forthcoming.