Welcome to the real world. You’ve been living in some nature-fairy land while the rest of us have been drugging ourselves since the age of 16 just to get by. You don’t smoke and you hardly drink and now you’re all like “Ooooo! Two cups of tea in the morning!”
It’s probably funnier to hear than to read. I don’t drink coffee and until about 2007 or so I didn’t even drink caffeine in the morning of any kind. At that point I started in on tea. Now that I’m back in the US, the easy availability of iced tea, along with Carrie’s burgeoning interest in bubble tea, and my new, slightly earlier schedule, seems to have led to a situation where I am taking in considerably more of this upper than I used to. When I remarked upon this situation to Carrie, she did not think it was something to be seriously concerned about. In fact, I think it would be more accurate to say she found the proposition 50% ridiculous and 50% hilarious.