If I had liveblogged last night’s circus performance, it would go something like this

(Outside, before the performance)

It sure looks like one of those clowns is going to hit a child with a pin.

(Inside, waiting for the performance)

This place looks like a school. Oh wait, it is a school. A circus school.

A torrential downpour. Wind is blowing over flags and stuff. And the title of tonight’s performance is “Downpour.” That’s not irony, it’s just coincidence.

Oh look, wet clowns trying to prevent a tent from collapsing.

(Inside the auditorium)

Waiting for the circus to begin: simple fact or existential condition?

(As 5th person gets up to “say a few words” before the performance begins) OMG. Please kill me now. It’s just like at the beginning of a conference.

Opening act is a clown. Now I understand that whole “clowns are scary” thing.

A circus of 4 people. Cool. It’s like off-off broadway.

Hoops. Not bad, but not anything I haven’t seen before.

Foot juggling. Now that is something I’ve never seen before.

Good music selection, but I wish there was less prancing and striking of poses.

Men contorting on hanging things. Impressive.

OMG, they turned off the air conditioning. It’s stuffy in here. I am feeling light headed. Too much prancing.

More foot juggling with spinning umbrellas. Awesome.

“Downpour” may have been based on a Dostoevsky play, but it looks suspiciously like other circus performances with mild sexual suggestion (enough for adults but not so much as to be noticed by kids), the usual attraction-refusal-reconcilitation with male and female performers, oh, and guess which woman gets more attention from the male suitors: the bigger one or the smaller one? I know that the performance was supposed to be laden with existential meaning and all that, but really I have to say the main attraction was not the plot.

Show’s over. Friends gotta go, we stay for the fire eating.

Music starts. Hmm. Dead Can Dance-ish. I dunno about this goth vibe. Also a little precious.

Women come out with pointy ears, black clothes and makeup. Hmm.

Then they light skewers on fire and eat the fire. AWESOME. I no longer care about any of the trimmings. Just do more stuff with fire, PLEASE.

Group of men in black robes with torches comes out, and leads the audience outside. Hmm.

Performance begins outside. What is the theme? Must be “satanic renaissance festival on Planet Vulcan.”

Fire breathing with wind. YES! But thanks for aiming away from the audience.

Hoops and rope tricks are better with the hoops and ropes are on fire.

But then, pretty much everything is more entertaining when it involves fire.

(Ride home)

Carrie (referring to the fire breathers): drinking the accelerant must taste terrible.

Me: But breathing fire probably makes up for the taste.

Carrie: Yeah.