As I went through security today at the Montreal airport, the guy ahead of me was trying to import a lava lamp into the U.S. Which is absurd on at least two counts:

1. It is a sealed chamber containing an unidentified clear liquid. Which is exactly what every public service announcement and newscaster has been saying to avoid for months now.

2. Couldn’t you get a lava lamp, oh, I don’t know, OFF THE INTERNET? It’s not like he had to get one in Montreal.

At least they didn’t pay any attention to me.

3 replies on “d’oh!”

  1. I always found Thompson House kind of skanky, smelling of beer and stale cigarettes. But chacun à son goût I suppose. As per US Customs control at Dorval, being clean and friendly, good; lava lamps (or boxes of apples, which I saw once), not so much. Coming back in January, I was randomly singled out for a bag search, and as I walked down the carpeted hallway to the separate examination area, was rapidly followed by the agent who was assigned to search my bags, saying “hey, hey.” Um, OK. I was just following directions. Short-staffed? Whatev. The “search,” for what is was worth, was so cursory there must be some silly quota. Or maybe the agent in question had a hot date at Tim Horton’s with a chocolate donut. But these things seem so determined by the visuals of the suspect/person/traveler that perhaps I was just lucky enough not to fit a demographic, and just a random assignment of “search every 20th traveler.”

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